WHOA!!!!

I will have to say a public I am sorry.

I have been extremely, umm, MEAN!

I have got to shake this bad, negative, blah feeling. It has given me an ulcer. Not kidding. For one single week, I have been overloaded with sadness, guilt, and down right hate. My mind did not want to pick myself up. I wanted to pout, throw stuff, (btw i didnt throw anything.) shoot I am glad everyone left me alone. God puts you right where you need to be. I think He gets us to where we can see only our own faults. Purging. Thats a great word for my week.

Dealing with loss, has never been easy nor something I would face. i do a great job ignoring and forgetting what ever I find difficult. I thought my many years of being sad and hateful were over. But this past week, it has peeked his head out again. Familiar spirits, causing much grief and despair. I welcomed it too.

I let it all happen, and i Let it rule.

It was awful. Unproductive. CRAPPY!

well, now that's it is over, I will get back at it and try again.